Follower Dreams

I am a leader, not a follower. I despise being labelled as second, and that's exactly what's happening now. My 'best friend' -- I don't like her at all, but let's call her Z -- and I are two very loud people. When I first came to my current school, I was not shy at all, and made sure my presence was known, but as I stayed longer in the school I became louder (people weren't noticing me as much as I'd like them to).

Anyways, Z is a loud girl too. So we hang out  a lot, and she's, as far as I'm concerned, my handbag. But people see me as the handbag, why? An idea just came to mind that maybe it's because she's been at my school for longer and people already know her as the loud one, but I can tell you now that I'm not an imitator. 

This is annoying. In Year Eight, a Year Eleven laughed that Z was the 'ring leader', but it's not true, and today my French Teacher and everyone agreed that Z was louder than me. Z tells me all the time that I'm too loud, which I take pride in, because she might be thin, but she will never take my voice.

Why?

I keep on making excuses.

It's because she's prettier.

It's because she's thinner.

It's because she's been here longer.

But what if it's true, and what if all I am is a handbag? This is one of the few I have left, my loudness, my leadership, you can't take that away from me.