Let me be the first to comment on my hatred of fear. It wraps you up in a blanket and never let's you go; fear is the reason I haven't posted on here in more than a month. Fear, or as the doctors call it, paranoia is what keeps me from becoming close friends with anybody, what keeps me from telling secrets and what causes my wall to be bullet proof and indestructible. Fear.
God, I'm scared of so many things it scares me. My paranoia rules my life and I never really noticed until a few weeks ago, when I finally faced the fact that I did not hate relationships, nor do I really hate people, but I'm scared of them. After this I finally confessed to myself how much more I was fearful of.
One thing was how scared I am of someone, everyone, finding this blog and all my anon accounts, it scares me so much every time I want to make a post on here or tumblr or twitter, it scares me enough to just want to deactivate everything and hide out in a ball and let my thoughts consume me. Without all these outlets, I'd literally be dead.
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"I am deeply troubled and close to death; I am as good as dead and completely helpless. I am no better off than those in the grave, those you have forgotten and no longer help."
Psalms 88:3-5 (CEV)
Height: 5'8.
Current Weight: 165.3
Thighs: 24 in
Hips: 37 in
Butt: 41 in
Waist: 32 in
Stomach: 35 in
Boobs: 37 in
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2 comments:
Hey girl, just started your blog and like it. :D
I would have to agree that I hate it too. And pain. Both are unavoidable in life. I usually fear things that haven't happened yet, like not having a career or being happy. That fear ends up keeping us from things that matter though.
Stay strong. Xx
I can relate
Paranoia plagues me too
Hang in there x
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